Fat people breathe too much. That seems to be the finding of a group of scientists at the Robert Gordon University in Scotland. The study finds that heavier people breathe more than those of average weight so they exhale more carbon dioxide and thereby contribute more to global warming. I'm sure when Michelle Obama reads this study she have someone at CDC or HHS work up some biometric index where each person is allotted only so much oxygen during one lifetime. But is increased respiration caused by increased weight the only culprit? Why should plump people be treated any worse than tall people? What about people who exercise too much? All the unnecessary co2 exhaled by Richard Simmons over his lifetime should make him a public enemy and not a friend of the earth. Should not an eco-friendly Michele Bachmann be preferred to a Rubenesque Michelle Obama? Will future generations venerate Elliot Spitzer for his lean and hungry look? Should a body weight over 160 pounds exclude anyone from food stamp eligibility? Should not Kristie Alley be forced to wear a scarlet letter for the double sin of being overweight and over exerting herself dancing on television? Or should academics not publish unless they have something to report?
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