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Monday, April 13, 2015

Hillary: past her prime

  I was in an airport when Hillary! announced her candidacy.
  Oh, wait.
  I guess she technically announced her candidacy for the presidency when she recorded her commercial to announce her candidacy. Um. On social media.
  Anyway I was in an airport which means I missed all the excitement about 1) her malfunctioning YouTube page 2)  a disastrous "typo" claiming to "fight children"  3)  her claim that she's "getting ready to do something"  4)  "tweeting" an announcement rather than doing a live announcement  5) her video announcement in which she appeared strangely washed out and drained.
  Hillary's taped declaration that she's planning to do something was choreographed carefully and "incidentally" preceded by a gauzy Photoshopped spread of Clinton's daughter Chelsea "opening up" in Elle magazine while Bill's head appeared on the cover of Town and Country.
  Lots and lots of gushing press about Bill having a third term and Hillary being such a great politician is being vomited on a country who has seen far too much of Hillary Clinton.
  The fact is that Hillary is a terrible candidate. She's got a bad case of Meanabetes, is condescending and arrogant, high handed with the press and secretive.
  She's shrill. She's self centered. She's narcissistic.
  All of which we've been witnessing for the last six years. Can we take more of it?
  Hillary does not have the charisma the current POTUS apparently has, though some of us are inured to his charm
  And the fact that cultural psychic SNL saw fit to mock her the same weekend she "announced" by video is a warning shot that she will not receive the same immunity Obama has.
  Though the press will push for her to win and attack any Republican who dares challenge both her and them, ignoring Hillary's shortcomings is like ignoring a naked Madonna in the room.
  Which brings me to a, um, touching metaphor.
  For us oldies, Coachella is some big concert venue out in the desert, which is where I happened to be a couple days ago when the fans started arriving.
  So apparently Madonna surprised Drake with a passionate French kiss, to which he responded by passionately wiping his mouth in apparent revulsion.
  After watching the video of Drake's response, I sorta wonder if this is the way America will respond to the kiss of an old broad who's way past her prime and trying desperately to appear hip.

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