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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The end of the animal cracker

  Having ruined so many industries without remorse or concern, the Obama administration is now going after animal crackers.
  Yes, you heard that right.
  The innocent little animal shaped crackers so treasured by children.
  Their offense? Their shape and horrors! trans fats!
  You may have already heard that schools are being forced to change their menus for next year, including gluten heavy emphasis on wheat and the elimination of such offensive foods as the potato.
  Now during a conference given by the White House, it's been announced to the food industry that will be draconian measures taken to force the food industry to make different products, which undoubtedly be taste-free and extremely,um, healthy.
  A report on the conference at Enviromedia:
n danger of being KO’d in the middle of all this? The chocolate Easter Bunny andchocolate Santa. So warned the National Confectioners Association, which said the scope of 20 categories of marketing activities covered in the proposed nutrition principles could endanger the chocolate Easter Bunny. And the Grocery Manufacturers Association agreed, saying, “The marketing the IWG seeks to regulate is not merely marketing directed to children but includes packaging, point-of-sale displays, sponsorships of charitable events, and even the shape of food, such as animal crackers
  You'll notice the health advocates want "more" regulation "faster." 
  Because that's what regulators want. More and faster.
  How will this affect the food industry?
  Well, unless they go along with the requirements, they won't be allowed to advertise. From PMALink:
The effect will be felt far beyond the food industry, including on business partners and promotion partners of food companies; in addition, the proposal sets a very dangerous precedent of what constitutes “marketing to kids” and an even more troubling precedent in its move to restrict commercial speech through nominally “voluntary guidelines” backed up by four powerful governmental agencies. 
  Human Events describes the regulations (voluntary but not really) as a "staggering crackdown." There's much more at this link:
Although the intent of the guidelines is to combat childhood obesity, foods that are low in calories, fat, and some considered healthy foods, are also targets, including hot breakfast cereals such as oatmeal, pretzels, popcorn, nuts, yogurt, wheat bread, bagels, diet drinks, fruit juice, tea, bottled water, milk and sherbet.
Food industries are in an uproar over the proposal written by the Federal Trade Commission, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Food and Drug Administration and the U.S. Department of Agriculture
  What's so ironic about this unbelievable incursion into individuals' privacy and the devastation of yet another American industry is the size of the behind and belly of the woman who so abhors fat people that she's willing to make slaves of the rest of the country.
  Admired by the LSM as a style icon, Michelle Obama's size is pretty unflattering and considering that every time we see her or her husband in public, she's chowing down on coney dogs and hamburgers to the extent of having people's cell phones confiscated so they couldn't take pictures of her licking her plate.
  Now, seriously.
  Does this woman really have a right to poke her fingers onto our dinner plates?
  Be sure to look really hard at that last pic. It's quite, um, revealing.
  Sure, this post is a little mean.
  But dammit. I like me my animal crackers.
  And I'm sick and tired of these meddlers trying to control every aspect, EVERY FREAKIN' ASPECT, of my life.

2 comments:

  1. How about we just wrap Moosechelle in bacon and set fire to her?
    It would be a great illustration of the dangers of a high-fat diet, plus we wouldn't have to listen to her holier-than-thou, nanny-state hypocrisy anymore.
    It's a win-win. Though, sadly, it would sacrifice perfectly good bacon.

    ReplyDelete
  2. A Modest Proposal, sir, A Modest Proposal.

    ReplyDelete