Members of the Senate Armed Services Committee pressed CIA Director Leon Panetta for details on the reported seizure of a large cache of pornography belonging to Osama bin Laden. The Director declined to say when, if ever, the pornography would be released. " We just can't post it up on whitehouse. org." huffed Director Panetta. "Well what about whitehouse.com?" shot back Senator David Vitter. "Is that domain available? You should remember it. When you were Clinton's chief of staff you all had a run in with them. I see now that the web operator is suing what's his name, Larry Sinclair? Right here in district court. Senators Kennedy and Dodd were always talking about that site."
"The question is," broke in Senator John McCain, " how the hell did this mope get all the stuff without an internet connection? Can you buy a computer with that pre-installed or did he subscribe to that 'Girls Gone Wild' thing and if so who carried in the cd's? I have to say some members of this committee have a strong personal interest in this thing. I mean is this the same old stuff they watch over at the SEC or is this some new Pakistani porn not available to the public?"
Senator Claire McCaskill stated that Secretary of Transportation, Ray LaHood, thought that a new, more, exotic porn might keep the air traffic controllers awake on the grave yard shift but of course he would have to be run it by their union leadership before it could be introduced so he would be content to wait for Wikileaks to release it. When asked to speculate when Wikileaks would release the porn, Director Panetta stated that Julian Assange would no longer return his calls but his sources at CNN had told him Wikileaks was still trying to acquire the cache.
When Director Panetta declined to say when the Committee could expect to receive a dvd copy of the pornography Senator Joel Lieberman reacted angrily; "Damn it. Sir, I have to say that things have gone to hell in the intelligence community ever since they locked up that Private Manning character. It used to be all we had to do was call him and he would burn us a cd about anything. Furthermore, considering the gravity of the situation I don't think we should automatically rule out water boarding."
Director Panetta assured Senator Lieberman that the President would not approve of water boarding anyone for any reason until after the 2012 elections.
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