Mr. President: Enough with the car in the ditch!

  Okay, Mr. President (and you, too, Mr. TOTUS), I know we don't see eye to eye on most issues, although I respect your position and your right to be who you are. You seem like a nice man, although I do wonder at times why you do what you do, like the votes you have cast for abortion, some of which have had hideous consequences.  I understand that you never left the campaign trail; that you feel that you must appeal to your base; that you never stopped ridiculing those with whom you disagree rather than try to reach out and broaden your base; that you love to talk, be seen and mingle with those who apotheosize you; that you think your job includes golfing regularly; that you like to appear to be genial and charismatic because that moves your message forward.
  I understand all these things because you are a political creature who has been lifted from relative obscurity to being the most powerful, adored man in the world. 
  I understand you had to dump the Slurpee from your little bag of fun metaphors to ridicule people like me. (I don't particularly care for Slurpees, but that's neither here nor there.) Well, what I understand is that you dumped the Slurpee imagery because even your biggest fans, the media, complained. Washington Examiner:

Many people began rolling their eyes at, say, the 10th time they heard the Slurpee story. And on Tuesday, a reporter asked White House spokesman Robert Gibbs about it. Why Slurpees? Gibbs didn't have a lot to say.

  So you dropped the Slurpee thing because the press complained. (OOOPS! It's back!)
  Now, I know you don't like me, because I'm the opposition. One of the Slurpee drinkers. One of the car drivers, even though your party has been in charge of the budget since 2006. One of the rednecks, the bitter clingers and confused angry folks.
  So I know you won't really listen to me.
  But I really feel I need to say this. 
  That whole Republicans driving the car into the ditch is getting REALLY OLD! 
  IT'S STUPID! 
  EVERYONE'S SICK OF IT! 
  Even if you believe it, the imagery's a LOSER.
  (Wait. Loser. Loser. Loser. Alienating people. Voters.)
  On second thought, go ahead.