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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Headaches Are For Democrats



If Michele Bachmann were a Democrat she would probably be running on a platform that included billions for research for migraine headaches. The public would be treated to hours of fluff television pieces picturing a courageous, hard working, compassionate and caring candidate, who in spite of great personal suffering, has embarked on a mission to bring relief to generations of migraine sufferers. As Obama has falsely claimed his dying mother was troubled by healthcare insurance chicanery, Bachmann would stand misty eyed before the teleprompter and regale her audience with stories of missed pompom practices, failed romances, lost job opportunities and worst of all deep feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem from which she only just recovered in time for the campaign. It would be an orgy in self pity.
But Bachmann is running as a Republican and the voters should think twice before letting someone with a headache near the nuclear codes. Unnamed former staffers who have grave personal concern for the well being of the republic have leaked to the press instances of her "incapacitation". Is this the best scandal people can invent? Bachmann's campaign has put out this statement.
“Like nearly 30 million other Americans, I experience migraines that are easily controlled with medication. I am a wife, a mother, a lawyer who worked her way through law school, a former state senator who achieved the repeal of a harmful piece of education policy in Minnesota, and a congresswoman who has worked tirelessly fighting against the expansion of government and wasteful spending. “Since entering the campaign, I have maintained a full schedule between my duties as a congresswoman and as a presidential candidate traveling across the nation to meet with voters in the key, early primary and caucus states of Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina. I have prescription medication that I take whenever symptoms arise and they keep the migraines under control. Let me be abundantly clear – my ability to function effectively has never been impeded by migraines and will not affect my ability to serve as Commander in Chief. “The many questions I have received on this subject have allowed me to discuss this important condition that impacts individuals in nearly one in four households. However, as a presidential candidate and office holder, I am focused on performing my job, which has never been more important given the state of our economy and the millions of Americans that are out of work. While I appreciate the concern for me and my health, the greater concern should be the debate that is occurring in Washington over whether or not we will increase our debt, spending and taxes.”

Just the right tone! It will give other people headaches.

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