The Hobbits Will Get You If You Don't Watch Out

Your Uncle Harry Reid dropped by today.
Really?
Poor Harry, he was really wound up. I wish to God he would cut back on his scotch. Know what he told us? He said Washington had been taken over by hobbits. I never heard such gibberish. He said they were hostage takers and had the whole town panicked.
What are hobbits?
Your Uncle Harry wasn't sure. He said he asked Rand Paul, you know that eye doctor from Bowling Green-charming, nice, young man he is. Anyway he said the were a creation of Tolkien. I thought Tolkien built those little trucks. But Harry said that was Lego. Harry heard John McCain talking about them in the Senate and he assumed they worked at the Wall Street Journal but he had never even heard of them until this week. He's going to get that fat lady with the short hair, what's her name? Napolitano, to investigate. Your Uncle Harry was a pretty good boxer in his day but I wonder if maybe he didn't take too many punches. He kept muttering about how he, by God, wasn't going to eat his peas. He was really beside himself. Eat his peas? Where did he get that?
From Obama. He said it was time for everyone to eat his peas.
You mean President Obama or that fat assed old lady of his? She is so squirrely. I guess she's going to grow peas in her food desert. She gets on Harry's nerves too. He says all those vegetables have got her all gassed up. Says her next fight after childhood obesity will be childhood flatulence. She must make quite a spectacle of herself 'cause Harry's friend, Chuckles Schumer, calls her Miss Synfuels.
Could it be it's the hobbits that are going to make Uncle Harry eat his peas?
Why would you say that? Do the hobbits take orders from Obama?
No, but I heard one of Nancy Pelosi's people say Obama was getting his marching orders from the hobbits.
Oh this does sound bad. Then your Uncle Harry isn't crazy?
Well that might be going a little too far, but think for a minute how erratically Obama has been acting lately. Last year, after the election, he wanted to let the Bush tax cuts expire. Then he extended them and said the Republicans made him do it and threw a temper tantrum. Then a month ago he said he needed the taxes after all. Now he says he can live without them. He calls press conferences when he has no news. He makes speeches when he's got nothing to say. One day he's happy and smiling the next day he's mad and threatens to hold up paying Social Security checks. Michelle must feed him too much sugar. Or maybe the hobbits got to him after all.