Jay Carney, carnival employee

  I used to work for a tent company when I was young and strong. 
  One of the tent company team's favorite politically incorrect topics was noting the oddities of the people you ran into when you put up tents on fairgrounds for carnivals and such.
  Those employees of carnivals were dubbed "carneys," and even then when it wasn't popular, carnies often sported numerous tattoos and weird piercings; the typical carney had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, wore a sweat stained t-shirt, smelled poor and had lank, greasy, stringy hair, had a tooth or two missing and was really interested in getting into your pockets.
  Complain about stereotyping individuals all you want; a stereotype IS a stereotype for a reason.
  Basically carneys work an area til they bleed the town dry and then the carnival moves on to the next group of suckers potential customers, hoping their rides (which were routinely not safety checked) didn't fall apart with somebody in them.
  Needless to say, your actual welfare was never much of a concern for a carney. Lying liars, if you will.
  Those of you who are actually reading this are high information voters and already know where I'm going with this.
  From the Urban Dictionary, minus the part about being honest and trustworthy, we have the definition of a Carney:

Carnival workers. Good, hardworking, trustworthy, honest, good-for-nothing, unreliable, foul-smelling vagrants who work at our nation's (USA) carnivals.

Do not let these people into your homes. 

"The effing carnie sat on the couch and now we have to burn it... and him. Wheres my wallet"

  Looking forward to figuratively burning the couch. 
UPDATE: And then there's the "worshipful" adoration of the press when it comes to the Carneys home life, without mentioning the Soviet propaganda posters and a Gorbachev bust. Yeah! Cool! Soviet propaganda!
UPDATE II: ANDDDDD the mockery goes viral as Photoshop errors are discovered in the puff piece!