Come ON! Shouldn't I be able to marry my dog?

  Ok, I have to admit I'm somewhat on the fence about gay marriage, not as it concerns the church. Churches has the right to do what they want and not have the government force its will on strongly held religious beliefs. That's kind of the whole point of separation of church and state.
  We've already seen this principle of freedom of religion betrayed by the Obamabots because the government is forcing religious institutions and businesses to provide abortion and abortifacient coverage, even though it's against deep held beliefts.
  Yet personally I struggle with the issue because I believe in monogamy and I also believe some folks are born gay. Not everyone is Christian, I understand, as I am. To "sin" means different things to different religions.
  Yet the idea of the government changing the definition of traditional marriage makes me uneasy for many reasons.
  And here we have several.
  We hear that an LGBT activist heckled Michelle Obama, only to be rebuffed by FLOTUS (can't say I blame her, to be honest) for the idea of encouraging POTUS to issue an executive order legalizing gay marriage. I'm pretty sure that if he could get away with it today, POTUS would do that. God only knows what he'll do in the last year of his second term.
  But by nature, Leftists have grievances and, dang it! They want what they want and they want it now. It doesn't matter what YOU in your puny little "beliefs and principles" prison think. THEY know what's best for society and they'll make you feel absolutely cretinous if you don't agree.
  So we have the extremely annoying gay activists who want it all NOW, no matter what is right or what the majority of this country thinks. I hate to give them satisfaction. This is reason number three.
  Reason number two is the big push--which, believe it or not, has already started--to legalize marriage between more than two people. This is what happens when you start tinkering with an age old belief system.
  And, see, that's what extremely annoying people do. They never give up until they get what they want. Once they get what they want, they find other stuff they want, no matter how destructive their "wishes" are to the culture or the fabric of society.
  And that's just downright stupid. In fact, when Romney was running, there was a lot of hooting from left wingers about Mormon polygamy. Funny how they've all retreated on that point, probably because they have set their sights on the new goal.
  But here's my number one reason for being not inclined to support gay marriage at this point.
  How long will it be before people want to marry their pets? Or worse, their neighbor's pet? Or their ex's pet? And then there'll be fights in court over divorcing cats and dogs and even pigs.
  And really, why shouldn't it be ok to marry a cat, a hamster or that cow in the big yard? Who are YOU in your pathetic archaic supposedly moral beliefs to say it's wrong?
  Better still, if you're, say, an academic and you've already been having sexual relations with your dog, why wouldn't you want to take it one step further and marry that dog? 
  It won't matter if you're already married, because, you know, the whole polygamy thing. Polygamy, after all, means "many partners." It doesn't specify those partners have to be people.
  Ah, you've gone too far, you say. I hear you clucking your tongues over the internet right now as you read.
  Well, here's my proof that I'm right about this issue. Karl Lagerfeld over at the Telegraph:

"There is no marriage, yet, for human beings and animals… I never thought that I would fall in love like this with a cat," Lagerfeld told CNN's Fashion Week: Backstage Pass. 

  And so here we come to the conundrum of the twenty first century, according to Leftists.
  I can see it now. 
  The dramatic mournful television ads, melancholy music ( maybe Madonna singing about being all you can be, girlfriend!) in the background, the tearful child looking into the camera, the adult sadly sitting at the table with the cup of coffee (camera pans to fidgeting fingers), and the solemn voiceover  (Tom Hanks?) intoning that--to be fair--to be equitable--to make life complete for all, it's only right that this pitiful woman be able to marry her dachsund. Why, look, even the dachsund is weepy!
  Yeah, you know, there's something good about being old. You can worry about these things and then be glad.
  Really, really glad that maybe you won't be alive to see that happen.
  I mean, I love my dog, but.....