Our president: lightning in a bottle

  Our president traveled to Brazil the other day, bragging about the American taxpayer investment in the oil industry in Brazil.

  While on one hand we have a wholesale destruction of the American oil industry, we're all happy to know that we're investing in the oil industry in Brazil and looking forward to being great customers of Brazil, furthering our foreign oil dependency rather than using American taxpayer dollars to build the American oil industry.

  So all that crap about being concerned about global warming and greenhouse gases really doesn't mean squat, since all, ALL the people claiming it have bigger carbon footprints than any of us out here in the hinterlands. 

  I don't want to hear one more admonition to unplug my phone charger while at work if they can't at least fly coach once in a while or maybe even conduct Skype interviews.

  But don't worry.

  Captain Lightning is here, oh he who will turn back the tides, slow the oceans, the Planet Healer.

  We have a guy named Barack Hussein Obama in the White House, who recently commented that he's "lightning in a bottle."

"The first time around it's like lightning in a bottle. There's something special about it, because you're defying the odds. And as time passes, you start taking it for granted that a guy named Barack Hussein Obama is president of the United States. But we should never take it for granted."

  Believe us.

  We don't take you for granted.

  We're eager to open the lid on that bottle and let you out.