From Command Central: ENJOY YOUR FOOD, underlings

From the New York Times:

As the nation’s obesity crisis continues unabated, federal regulators on Monday issued their bluntest nutrition advice to date: drink water instead of sugary drinks like soda, fill your plate with fruits and vegetables and cut down on processed foods filled with sodium, fat or sugar.

More important, perhaps, the government told Americans, “Enjoy your food, but eat less.” Many Americans eat too many calories every day, expanding their waistlines and imperiling their health. 

Let's spotlight this sentence from our government: 

“Enjoy your food, but eat less.”

  Do you know which part of this sentence is the most annoying?
  Oh, I know what you're thinking.
  You're thinking that I'm going to say the "eat less" part is most annoying.  
  Well, no. I'm not.
  I already eat less because I'm an independent, thinking, disciplined conservative individual who doesn't want to wind up on one of those fat makeover shows.
  What's most annoying about that sentence is the command to "Enjoy your food."
  Again, as a normal human being, I already enjoy my food. 
  I don't need the government to tell me to do so. 
  There's something patronizing and demeaning about government nagging to move more, volunteer, adopt a kid, contribute to the collective, don't use sugar, don't drink soda, prevent lead poisoning, don't eat too much, wear your seat belt, don't eat transfats and NOW, don't use SALT, that I've totally tuned out from any good those constant admonitions might accomplish.
  How dare you come after my SALT.
  Have ya HAD any low salt V8 lately?
  This is some of the worst stuff ever concocted.
  Or try a low salt canned soup.
  Low salt soup tastes like you're drinking spit.
  Naturally the thin and fit nannies at Center for Public Interest have jumped in, excited that the government is, once again, issuing directives to the idiot citizens who simply don't seem to know that if you eat too many chicken wings, you'll sprout some fatty chicken wings of your own. 

“If companies don’t change their practices and reformulate their products, people don’t have a chance of following the dietary guidelines,” Ms. Wootan said.

  Haha! 
  That's right. 
  If companies don't change THEIR practices, I won't be able to keep that spoon from visiting my mouth too often.  
  Oh, and let's get a dig in at previous administrations' food guidelines; again, the NY Times:

Regulators hoped simple messages would resonate better than the more technical prose of the past.

 Naturally the food companies are scrambling to meet the new guidelines, finding it "challenging" but making "progress"  toward blandifying all their foods to make them so distasteful that no one will buy them. 
  That appears to be the goal: make the food so blah that no one will eat it, thereby ruining more businesses.
  Here's my answer in non technical prose to the High Command, some of whom have some pretty fat fannies themselves, regarding my salt shaker:
  From my cold dead hands.